With the hope of maintaining the best possible personal relationships within this community and establishing a foundation to transform conflicts, we agree to a short list of behavioral ground rules. These ground rules are meant to be a guide for our individual behavior. These ground rules will also serve as an indication to potential members of the way we wish to relate to each other, assisting them to make decisions regarding membership.

1) Choice and responsibility

Our behaviors and our actions are ultimately our own choice and our own responsibility. Our community values freedom, diversity, and self-expression; and we expect each individual to accept the responsibilities and consequences that come with that freedom. Each of us is responsible for 1) knowing ourselves, 2) speaking for ourselves, 3) doing what we can to take care of ourselves, 4) being willing to grow, 5) being aware that we have an impact on others and on the group, and 6) when we are the one being impacted by someone else's behavior, actions or statements and we need resolve; being willing to communicate such impacts in a clear, concise, and caring manner to the other individual.

2) Thinking well of others

We think well of each other and of the group. We let others be themselves and value each person for who they are. We value the giving and receiving of feedback, active listening, and an atmosphere where each person feels safe enough to share their authentic selves. We avoid making assumptions, speaking for others, or having personal expectations of others, except where they have clearly stated their intentions such as making commitments, etc.

3) Valuing and trusting ourselves

We value and trust ourselves. We value authenticity and the importance of each of us holding to our own truth. We value and share the unique gifts that we each bring to community.

4) Honoring the community

We value the community that we are creating together, acknowledging that what we do has an important and far reaching impact beyond our own lives, and we honor the responsibilities that come with bringing the gifts of ourselves to this endeavor. We work hard and take risks, when necessary, to honor agreements and commitments. This holds true for commitments such as learning to use the community tools and processes, making the time and financial commitments necessary to attend the face-to-face meetings, paying the membership dues, and being engaged in the on-line and phone interactions during the times in between meetings. We value honesty about one's intentions and ability to fulfill commitments. We seek resolution and/or transformation of any unresolved issue or conflict to the best of our ability.

5) Sacred Wounds

We acknowledge and honor that each of us brings to the community a unique his/herstory, and that we each have sacred wounds. Our past experiences, both positive and negative, have influenced who we are, our expectations of others, and how we will feel and react in different situations. We are committed to the intention of 1) expecting each individual to take responsibility for continued personal growth and healing and 2) valuing each person for where they are in their own journeys.

Sacred wounds are a part of our becoming and a part of our mythic journey, the great story that we live. Our wounds, although unique, do not set us apart from each other. They are one of our common bonds. They are a piece of our common heritage. We all have stories of pain and heroism. Our wounds can be physical, emotional or spiritual. It is because of them rather than in spite of them that we each enter this community as whole beings. (adapted from Diana's Grove Cornerstones by Cynthia Jones)

6) Transformational Conflict

We cannot always anticipate the impact of our actions on others. Conflict is an inevitable part of community life, and as such we will honor the work and guidance of the Conflict Transformation Team. We will become familiar with the tools and resources that are recommended, and participate in special meetings or processes to transform personal conflict or regain integrity with community agreements.

We would like to thank Jari Holland Buck (majesticwolf.com) for the use of the term "Behavioral Ground Rules" and to acknowledge that we have at our foundations or at least are drawing ideas from four other articulated statements of values: The Reclaiming Principles of Unity (PofU), Diana's Grove's Cornerstones (Cornerstones), Nonviolent communication (cnvc.org) and Permaculture Principles.

• Loose end: Developing the tools and methods that can assist in implementing these behavioral ground rules.